I went to work today and they fired me. Nothing I could say would make it change. I then went home sad and ashamed, of the unfortunate decision they had just made. Anyhow, I couldn’t stop. Wake, work, write, ride back with your rights. No work, no rights, is how it goes, is how we flow in this society. As I walked, I thought “What will I do tomorrow?” There is no today. I had to think ahead, find something that I would do instead.
“Oh I forgot, I am getting married tomorrow.”
I would get married and find something to do the day after.
***
I took my car and flew to town hall. By the time I arrived, my father, his woman and the girl had signed the papers of marriage ownership, only my part was left. Father welcomed me
– Here are your papers. The certificate will arrive shortly, so you can stay with
—
– Dawn, my name is Dawn
SMACK! And a slap from my parent’s sturdy hand to her delicate face. Surprisingly it did not cry or even shudder as my father spewed his venomous anger.
– Did I permit you to speak?
– I apologize for my misconduct.
– Did I allow you to apologize or talk even, he hissed
He was mad, angry, furious. His dry skin chapped all over his thin but wavy body. His hand grasped its throat like would a boa to her prey. I wanted him to stop. Why, I don’t know, yet I wanted him to.
– It’s fine father, I shall discipline it.
He loosed his grip
– Make it as obedient as mine then.
He smiled, or should I describe it as a smirk with his two fangs in sight. He activated his woman’s collar and walked outside. I would receive one too, to keep my girl on leash.
We received the certificate and left the building. I had to search for a job, something to do. I didn’t want to lose my rights. I showed it my house.
– Here is the kitchen —
– I will cook and eat my own food, and so will you.
– Here is our bedroom —
– I won’t sleep or have sex with you.
– Now wear your collar and I’ll —
– No, I won’t run away but get this chain away from me.
I didn’t have time to discuss so I quickly headed for the door.
– Where are you going?
“What a personality it had,” I thought exasperated. “Roaring a second and smiling
the next.”
– To find myself a job.
– They are lying to you, you know.
And as bluntly as she said those words, she turned around and left.
***
To the streets, I went and asked a man “Do you have a job for me?” He proceeded to give me an ax and point the nearest tree:
“Cut those trees for Mali, it will help poor families.”
To every foret I went, chopped and chanted until sunset:
“Cut the trees,
Cut the trees,
Make some paper,
Help Mali.”
In an unexpected way, I was told to carve out bows and arrows the next day. As I
carved, I heard its voice: “They are lying to you, you know.” And I slowed down, for a fraction of a second, and got fired. I went home scared and guilty. I almost stopped. I had slowed down, for the first time I had slowed down. What happens when you stop? “You die a horrible death” Father says.
***
It was standing in the door frame staring at the broken moon.
– What did you do today, it asked
– I helped families in Mali.
Its eyes turned into question marks.
– I cut trees and built bows and arrows.
– How can bows and arrows help families?
I systematically chanted:
“Cut the trees,
Cut the trees,
Make some paper,
Melp Mali”
It laughed, a light yet heavily ironic chuckle.
“You are of the worst species”
It continued laughing
“Listen to me, it should be:
‘Cut the trees,
Cut the trees,
Spark war
Take the treasures.’”
So it, I mean she, left.
***
When I left the next day, she was still asleep. I could hear her soft purring. Her
tigress soul now seemed so harmless, it confused me. I had no time to stare. I had
nothing to do. I kept slowing down. I had to go. I had to move.
A man on the street screamed and shouted “Serve your country, be revolutionary.” I looked and I liked so to war I went. I had to do something to pay the rent. I packed and prepared food for the war ahead. As I left, I glanced at her once more. She was holding a bizarre object.
– What foul thing do you hold in your hands? I inquired
– It is a book from the 21th century. She distractedly said.
– Why do you dwell in such a past? We are way past that.
– A place where equality was valued and books allowed people to dream. A
time where I could find my Juliet and that I wouldn’t be your possession.
– It is useless to fantasize of a destiny eternally out of your reach.
– Well, let me dwell as I smile hoping to leave this hell.
She finally looked at me, however her eyes were filled with judgment.
– Where are you heading off to this time?
– I am serving the country, being revolutionary.
– You’re still a fool I see. All that free time should be spent spreading glee.
Free time? I had to do something. I shouldn’t have free time. I never stopped, I had to find something to do. Don’t I always have to do something, whatever it is? What happens when you stop?
I left and flew my car to the base. We were crammed in a plane and handed guns.
After pointing the almond-eyed enemies Le Général shouted: “Shoot and kill, take
bullets and refill.” I was taught and fought until he noticed me. He put me behind a big machine as he screamed from the top of his lungs “War, kill and spar! Behind the bombs, fire bombard!” I heard her once more as she whispered: “You’re still a fool I see.” I examined the other side, as those “dangerous enemies” fell and cried. The bright red button stared at me intently. Le Général pressed the button himself. The missile spat gas and vomited its deadly projectile. He then looked at me and said “You had been given the greatest honneur, go back and learn to murder.” It was done. After all that, it was over. No one died on our side, most had fun. Only two weeks of war, but I was happy it was over. I had nothing to do, but still felt…good.
What a weird thought?
***
I returned to parades and honours. I had worked so I could vote. I woke, I worked, I wrote and rode back with my rights. Stu Pidliar was at the end of his term and was against Awor St-Liar and Realh O’Nesty. I hadn’t watched the debates, no one ever did. I still had to choose as people wanted my opinion. I went home and examined their pictures. Stu Pidliar was old, but his smile brought me joy. Awor St-Liar was younger and more handsome, surely fit for the job. Realh O’Nesty was the worst, skinny and scrawny, he was obviously not the country’s best choice.
– I hope you vote for Realh O’Nesty. He is in favor of equality between races,
genders, and social statuses. She stipulated
– Equality? This world is already so fair. No one has suffered for as long as I
lived.
– What about me?
– You are not even human —
She slapped me. I looked up to the sight of a tear strolling down her cheek. I was
conflicted, surprised. Why did she care so much? As I went to publicly announce my choices, I dismissed those thoughts. “I should slap her back next time.” Is all I noted. My mouth screamed like Le Général’s.
– Vote Awor St-Liar! Vote Awor St-Liar!
– I will vote for him too, said a man
– Me too!
– Me too!
Unsurprisingly, Awor St-Liar won with 83% of the votes. I went back home proud and content of my decision. Realh O’Nesty was found dead the next day.
***
During the evening, Le Général passed by my house. The government, for our
well-being, knows everything from our health to our sleeping schedule, so I wasn’t surprised to see him this late.
– Have you learned how to kill?
– Yes sir.
I was lying through my teeth. She, in the kitchen, saw right through me but stayed
silent.
– I have a job for you. I doesn’t involve too much kill—
– I’m in. I interrupted
– Protect our people, keep them legal.
– Well count me in, Sir.
He turned to the kitchen
– It’s a fine girl that you have there.
He kept looking and I understood the problem so I promptly said.
– I let her off leash when I’m with her. Apparently it helps them live longer.
– Oui oui, I heard about that too.
He seemed satisfied with my answer and therefore turned back to face me.
– See you at the police station tomorrow.
– Have a good day, Sir.
– Yes, au revoir !
As he flew away, she was glaring at me. With darts as eyes, I could almost smell the smoke leaving her ears.
– You keep me off leash “at night” !
– I am your master and he wanted an answer.
– Why couldn’t you say that I simply don’t wear a chain?
– Now you are going to lower your tone, woman?
– Woman, wo-man? You don’t even know my name!
– I do.
– What is it then?
I reflected. What was her name? She continued mercilessly.
– You are the one blindfolded by society, unable to stop. When you do stop it is
because you were forced to. You ruin this world with your compulsive need to
act. No thinking, just acting. You believe the lies that are told by liars.
Shut
– You are afraid of stopping—
Up
– …for you were never taught to think—
Shut up
– …or to even have —
– Shut up!
A blow from my sturdy arm to her porcelain face, a kick from my boot to her
slim waist. My hand pulled her hair and raised her to my face, but I looked at
her. They were green, her eyes were green like venom framed with hair red
as fire. She did not smile or cry, as she looked me dead in the eyes and said:
“…an opinion. You are just like the rest” I let her go. She went back to the
kitchen standing tall, not once looking back.
“You are just like the rest.” Six meaningless words and yet I stood immobile
and feeling guilty. It is recommended to discipline your girl, and yet I kneeled
looking at my hands like I would look at a wolf. With fear, fear that those
hands weren’t mine and that this mind didn’t act from my orders. I didn’t have
time though. Tomorrow I would go to protect our people.
***
I arrived there the next day. I forgot about last night, I had to. They handed me a
revolver and a few other weapons. They taught how to use them and left me on the street: “They look suspect, perfect they must be wrecked.” With minimal moral
training, I was left to protect. I was the intellect, I decided if they were incorrect. I
checked and corrected our loyal subjects. I ran around killing the defects just like
they would expect. A scream is heard. No, a cry, a cry created by horror. I run,
where? Don’t block my way or I will dissect your neck. I found him. I found them.
Men in a crowd all screaming and running.
– Please I plead, call the police! A Black is off leash!
– Where?
– Did it infect me?
– Don’t touch me.
– Please I plead, call the police! A Black is off leash!
I look and see, my house, who dares cause such ruckus in front of my house. They
will pay for what they’ve done. I tell people to move aside. I make my way through the crowd and see it. Automatically my mouth shouts “Hands where I can see them!” It turns to face me. I stare in its cold dark eyes, no light or spark, empty. My hands point the gun as my eyes search for its collar. My finger is ready to shoot.
– Stop!
It’s her. She runs towards the scene.
– What are you doing here? Get back inside.
She brushes my order off. My voice asks for reinforcement through the radio.
– Are you mad? What has he done to you?
– It should be on leash, I respond
Police cars land around us, crushing the bystanders in their way. Le Général walks
over to handle the situation.
– Shoot him!
My finger pulls the trigger. Its body regurgitates blood and thuds on the floor.
– Why? she screams.
She runs to the, now dead, body. Le Général advances towards her.
– Aren’t you off leash little girl?
– I never wear a leash.
He turns around. I pretend to be surprised. He then handcuffs her.
– Sir, I can take it from here.
– I’m not sure of that young man. It seems to have bewitched you.
He puts the gun to her head and says:
– Any last words?
She turns to me. I can sense no regret in her eyes.
– Stop, stop and look at what you have caused. Look at your victims. Victims of
your deadly leisure, as it brings you to do without thinking. Look at how you
can’t even criticize the world as they pry on your naivete. Look at how you
need to do so much not to have to think and actually contemplate the world’s
issue. That leisure they create for you to hate and then make you do whatever
they want. It will not kill you to stop. Look and see this hell—
POW! I scream.
“DAWN!” Her name was Dawn. Le Général walked to his car.
– Trop de commotion for such a useless object.
I ran to the body. I stopped. I looked. The curtains fell. I woke up. I saw. The bombs hidden by planes riding the sky. I saw the dark unfiltered air caused by the lack of trees. I heard the cries of almond-eyed prisoners. I saw the poverty caused by Awor St-Liar’s greed. I smelled the bloody scent of the dead bodies of innocent men and women on the street. I saw her, I saw Dawn. Dawn who had awakened me was now dead, as dead as all I caused.
Suddenly, Awor St-Liar’s party’s plane flew hanging a poster for all to read.
“Fake news, fake news, got to stop all this abuse.”
I read.
I laughed.
I laughed at the joke Dawn had made.
I laughed at the joke Dawn was.
Why would she lie like that?
It is so mean of it to do so.
I left the body and went home.
As I closed the door, I could hear, at the back of my head:
“Go to sleep, go to sleep, trust and follow like a sheep.”